I’m sorry that you gave up on me, I’m sorry that you gave up on us and everything we could have had.
One day you’ll look back and you’ll see me happy with someone else and you’ll realise that you didn’t lose me, you let me go.
You’ve been such an amazing part of my life and now we may have different paths, I know that we will always have each other. Through a lot of the bullshit, lies and drama i found you were always there. We get along like a house on fire, we are so much alike that it’s somewhat scary. There are so many stories that should never be repeated but as for the fun that we have it’s always going to be there and many more to come. There was never a lie between us, everything was so honest and true. We had the greatest times together from clubbing, too eating maccas, to just causing trouble it was always us. And now after the birth of your beautiful daughter Allira, I am so proud of you and the person that you are.
There are only few people in your life that can handle you at your best, worst, drunk and just down right stupid moments and still love you at the end of the day. And those people are the ones that you shouldn’t want to live without. I am so thankful for my bestfriend and I know most people won’t ever be as lucky as me to have her in their lives.
There’s just something about you, something that makes me question everything I ever knew. You have these qualities that I would never be attracted too, by I keep getting drawn back in, over and over again. I keep telling myself to walk away because I honestly believe that nothing good can come from this. But I can’t. You have me so smitten and undyingly want to just be with you. I don’t think I ever really felt so fulfilled in a long time, It takes a lot for me to really want to give up a lot of myself to give to another, but you really seem to be that. I’m not saying your the one or we can have a fairytale but i truly believe you could really make me happy. I just hope that soon enough you realise I could make you happy too. I’ve been hurt a lot and too want to throw myself back into something means i’m serious, I need to know if you are too. Why is it that we feel this way about particular people yet we won’t ask them straight out because we are either afraid of the answer or we just don’t want to screw things up?
I know I am, and i’m so tired of never knowing. It’s time to become a big girl and swallow my pride and just ask, so once and for all I can either walk away or we can be happy.
I see so many guys continuously working so hard to get the girl, but they never really want the girl they want the body.
I see so many girls continuously trying to rangle the bad boys and turn them into the nice guys.
But none of us ever actually go after what it is that we want, we go after the hardest thing to grasp. If you love the challenge than do that but as soon as competition comes into it, they go running. Eventually everyone leaves, we all can’t be here forever. But those moments that feel like they will last forever mean so much more. So why not find someone who you don’t need to change or sleep with to be happy with? But it’s been said that we can’t be with one person for the rest of our lives. Well my parents have been together with only each since they were teenagers, i wish times were still like this. Not all these bullshit stories of meeting the hottest girl at the bar and taking her home and banging her brains our or meeting the boy whose sleep with hundreds of girls but now he only cheats a few times because he’s with you, that’s not happiness. That’s damn denial.
And now all we do is sit around and wait for messages, hoping that things will turn into something more. But if your waiting around clearly they aren’t thinking about you.
Who thought that giving up would be so hard?
I always believed that when your the one making the choice that it is somewhat easier, but it’s just so much harder because you’ve made the decision to just stop trying together. I’ve given up so much before but giving up you is hard. But i wonder if i really even need to give you up because i’m sure you’ve already left.
You walked out, You left me. But you were never mine to have, for very obvious reasons. For so many days and nights i would wait around for your messages just to know i was still on your mind. But i never got one……ever. Until a week before you were leaving, and you wanted to see me. Saying goodbye to you continuously is never going to make our situation okay. We can’t ever be anything because there’s so many others getting hurt, and i will not continue to hurt someone intentionally. You made your choice and i won’t come back to you because for you, this was all a game. And for the first time i felt something so strong, and you broke that. In every other person i search for all the qualities of you, but your just an asshole.
Why would i ever want that in someone?
My hearts a tricky sort, and you tricked it.
And to hear that when you came back you said that you missed me, actually hurt. I never got a message, a phone call. So clearly you didn’t miss me enough.
Stay where you are, because i refuse to say goodbye again.